Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
