just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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