is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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