Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
