Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize