It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
