I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize