i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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