I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
