I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
love makes seman taste better
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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