i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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