I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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