okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
