I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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