I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
