she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
