is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize