physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Your dad touched me again.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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