YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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