My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize