she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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