Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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