Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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