Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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