jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Did I show you my penis last night?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
