It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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