wrigley field is MILF paradise
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
