is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
