Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Couch. On fire.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
