He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
