my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
