You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
