But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
