fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
