can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize