I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
