I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
