my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
