called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
