So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
