Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You can't just leave with hair like that
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
