i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
