did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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