it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize