Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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