I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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