Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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