I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
