Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
NoShamevember. You game?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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