On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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