i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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