don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
