I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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