if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize