i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Are we still banned from the library?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
