youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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