Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
