I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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